When you have an illness yourself it's very strange to deal with someone else being ill, you always feel like it should be you in the hospital bed. I remember when my best friend was ill almost 6 years ago with a brain infection (encephalitis) and I was a wreck, I sat next to her bed and cried and cried and when her Dad came in he said not to worry and to just think about all the times that my friend had been the one sat next to my hospital bed and that she would pull through it so long as we all stayed strong and positive for her and she sure as hell did make a full recovery! It just came to mind as my little sister who is 9 has gone in to start Iv's today, she hasn't had Iv's for years and years, like I can't even remember when! She has chosen to have them as she keeps getting an irritating cough and wants to be as well as possible for my June wedding as she will be a bridesmaid! Bless her heart! I just remember the strops and cries I used to throw every three months (that used to be how often they used to be planned) when I was told I needed Iv's and I just think she is being so brave and I think she's a tough little cookie whose had a tough year with everything that's gone on (Mum and Dad splitting and the arguments they have now) Just thought I should have a little moment to emphasise my love for her! That brings me on to how pleased I am with Mum at the moment too, she has coped with everything so well and seems so happy now and we are getting super fit together on our gym, swim and exercise DVD every week! I'm so proud. Then of course there's my other sister who I just wouldn't be without and we are planning our joint 21st and 17th Birthday party at the moment. I just love my family. I get slightly sad when I think about my Dad, I love him to pieces as all the others but I miss him, even when I see him it feels different since our unit broke up! I feel like he wants to push me away because I do kind of push his new girlfriend out the picture as much as possible and with our birthdays and the wedding coming up it's all particularly awkward as he's not coming to our party because we didn't invite her! However I am looking forward to a birthday meal out with Dad, his partner, my sisters and Marc at the end of the month!
Wow that was getting a bit deep, but it's easier to write it, because if I say it I just get silly and emotional and if I don't I just get stressed.....
On to some absolutely awesome news, I have got myself a new job working with a child 1:1 in a school with individual needs, so I'm cutting my hours down a bit and I'm going to start an open University course too, so I can hopefully get a degree as I am definitely capable just don't want the whole uni life style as I love the life I have! I am still staying at my old job too for the school holidays which is just great so I get to see the young people and the staff still which is ideal because some of the friends I have made I would hate to drift apart from!
My partner has been training for his job for 5 weeks now! He trains in London so we only get to see each other at weekends at the moment! His course is meant to finish and he is meant to qualify on the 8th June...the day before our wedding! I am missing him soo Much and can't wait for us to be married and both settled in jobs! Then we have our honeymoon in September. This year is just busy busy busy but I wouldn't have it any other way!
Hope everyone is well!
Mogzi xxx
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