If Im too ill to work and my fiancee and I have a mortgage by then, I will have to just rely on him and I hate that, he is reliable, completely but I want him to be able to rely on me to. Then if we manage to have a baby, and I can't go back to work after that then he has me and the baby, himself and the house to pay for and no offence on him but his jobs aren't financially enough for that at the moment and the one dream job he wants is firefighting full time which he does part time and he just can't seem to manage to get in to it and each time he doesn't manage I see him fall a little more apart. He wants it so bad.. I want it for him so bad.
If my health wasn't bad, I wouldn't have these worries because I really enjoy working and I can earn enough to pay half and he could stay with what he is doing and pay half and we'd get along just fine.
O dear, my achy lung is really bothering me now, what can you do with an achy lung it really aches when I cough so physio shall be fun tonight! but i'm going to go and stop moaning now! As i'm getting bored of the sound of my own voice, it just saves me moaning to the people closest to me who can see when i'm feeling low or not and don't really need telling, and although they would listen to me deeply it's all stuff I moan about one day and want to forget about the next.